Recently i encountered many cases where my friends suffered because of relationship. The main problem is not because they don't love each other, they do, in fact very much.... that it reflects back and hurt them indirectly.
One of my friend actually asked, if you know you would be this hurt why would you want to start the other day?
If we can predict the future of the relationship, of course you will not get yourself wet by starting it or even getting near him, right?
As i grow older, i came to realize the meaning of this proverb, "If you love something, you need not to own it, as long as it is happy, then you should too". I used to fight for things i want, but getting hurt in the end, because by nature, it takes two to make things perfect. If one of the partner doesn't want to be involved or doesn't want to be responsible, then there is no use for it to be continued on. It is so absolutely unfair to the other partner.
They came to me for advice, but I gave them mine, based on logical thinking. I knew action speaks louder than words when one of them laughed at me back, "Your love life is in mess too".
True, but when we don't directly participate in the game, we have the third party view and give suggestions and advices based on observations and experiences, which the players don't realize. It's all up to them if they take it or drop it off.
For me, I listen and digest, but at the end, i decide my own destiny.