Confession

I would like to share something which has been bothering me for very long time and it also answer the reason why I have been emo-ing recently. I hope by the end of this post, you won't be looking down on me or change your perception towards me because I am still the same me, the one who is humble, kind, innocent and pretty. muahahhaha.

I worked as shooter girl last night. The jobscope was pretty easy I suppose , promote some shots to the clubbers but I have target to hit. 16 shots in a night otherwise I'll be paid half of the salary.

I reached the club and I was given 20 shots of vodka mixed with cranberry and laicy. I walked into the crowd trying to smile to cover the nervous and anxious feelings inside me. I stopped at a table. "Hey, do you want to drink?" He wasn't keen but after much "negotiating", he finally agreed to support me by buying 1 shot but I need to drink quarter cup of VSOP mixed with Coke. I said ok. I was happy, it was easy. I thanked and I left.

I walked to another table, they didn't want any shots. I walked to another table, they lift up their liquors indicating that they have enough drinks and there were MANY times before I reached their tables and could utter a single word, they shoo-ed me away. Damn it, I felt like a beggar. Soon, my determination and confident drops dramatically. I was sad and i walked back to the bar and rest. After patching my feelings back, I went in again, smiling unwillingly and went table to another table. This time, I went to a group of foreigners. He asked what's was I holding. I said, vodka shots. Try it, it's nice and he agreed. I was relief a little but there's freaking 14 shots more to hit the target and in my tray left 18 shots. Then I walked round and round and round until one point, I was very sad again. I walked to that man who bought my first shot.

"Hey, do you want to buy more?"
"Noo, i'm drunk a bit"
"Drink these shots, it'd make you feel better" - obviously I was being lawyer buruk.
"Come back after 15 minutes, go and sell others"
"Huh? if you gonna buy after 15 minutes I rather stand here and chat to you. People out there was shoo-ing me away, I am very moody and I feel so helpless holding these stupid tray." - yes, that's what I told him.

After a while, I talked him to buy the whole tray but I need to drink again. But this time, no mixture, not on the rock. Solid pure VSOP of a full cup. I hesitated for a while and I felt being challenged. But it was easy right? Just drink that damn thing and I'm done for the night. I accepted it and wolla, I done with my sales.

After he paid, i quickly walk out of the club and I told my sv what happened and I tell to his face, you are going to fetch me home right!! I quickly took out my phone and called my friends to keep me awake and standing, because I was told if you drink too fast and sit down, you're dead the next seconds.

Well, that's a summary of a night of a shooter girl and I'm out of this job. It's not the kind of job that I would like to be in, I hate to beg for people to buy something that they do not need for. I hate to go around and being shoo-ed away. I just hate the job.

I received many many negative feedback when I tell them I am going for that position.
"You're fresh grads, you have degree why on earth do you want to do such jobs? Do you know that it's very dangerous and people might take advantages of you. Are you so desperate for money? It's a dirty job. ..."

I was very down and sad when I was told. What's more it was from my sisters and friends who I wish they could support me because I was in dilemma as well?

Well, it's over and I would like to include that:

1. I was lucky i found a guy who bought the whole tray just because he wanna see me drunk and vomit but i didn't, at least not until I'm home. I was controlling myself the whole night.
2. I was lucky no one touch me. (Er, maybe I ugly. wtf)
3. It is definitely one of the hardest job I ever done ie: roulette croupier, promoters, waitress, auditor. Do not look down on them because it's a profession I'd say. It requires your intelligence to persuade and make them buy from you. It also need good communication and social skills.

I took it up as a challenge for myself and I would want to know what it is like to be working in a club. I can't be bouncer, I can't be DJ, I can't be bar tender, so I think shooter girl is the only job I can fit in, and I did. I would say, it is not that bad afterall because of #1 and #2. Actually, i am suppose to work tonight but I pull out because I know I can't be so lucky again and prevent unnecessary incidents to happen, right? But I am really mad at myself for not able to cope up with the stress but... haihhhhhh.

Now that I lost my part time and if you have any part time for me.

See, i told you, i'm still the same me~ huhu