Thursday, July 26

A letter from the Past

(This is for my Toastmasters Advanced Communication Manual - Humorously Speaking. It's my very first time of writing and delivering a humorous speech under such a conscious mind. It's not easy but I will continue to learn and practice. Hope you enjoy my not-so-humorous speech. Thanks)

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I was watering my plants last Saturday when the postman arrived at my house. He greeted me nicely, "Hi sexy, watering plant?"


My husband who was pulling out grasses quickly stood up and replied, "No, she is breeding caterpillar".

Feeling the awkwardness, he quickly put the letters into the box and fled away. My husband went to the letter box to collect the letters and browse through them...

"Dear, this is for you. This letter looks so old and antique. Some more got this "thank you postman" written in a heart shape. What an ugly handwriting."

The moment I heard that I quickly put down the water hose and grab that letter.

****

How are you my future? I hope you still remember this letter that I wrote 15 years ago and paid DHL - Deliver Historical Letter for this service. Anyway, it’s the best thing to do in town right now.

Currently, I am studying my life away for PMR which is just happening around the corner. Can you tell me if I will score pass with flying colors as I have just accepted daddy’s challenge. Basically he was bribing me into scoring full A - RM500 for full A or I am his maid for a full year. Dear future, please thank me if you do get the money and please don’t blame me if you have to work like a cow. I promise I will re-negotiate my deal with dad for my SPM.
What about you my future? Do you managed to get a degree? I always curious what I will ended up as I always change my mind. Last year I wanted to be a firewoman after seeing my idol in that TBV fireman series. This year I want to be a doctor when my idol acted as a doctor in the new TBV drama. Life is so difficult. Anyway, I hope you are happy with where you are.
I was telling everyone about this project and everyone wanted to leave a message in this one page.
From Dad: I want you to know that although you are 30 years old now, you will always be my little girl.
From Mum: Girl, I hope you still eat vege and drink lots of water so that you can PASS MOTION smoothly
From Ah Ko: I wish my fat sister will not be as fat as she is now and will turn into a fatless young lady.

I always wonder if Ah Ko is my real brother. He is such a big bully and pain in the heart.

Oh, before I forget, Cousin Lian is visiting me this weekend to pass me some magical slimming pills. She said this pill very effective one and is 10 times better than consuming green apple. 10 pill a day; burns the fat away; doctor can be kept away. Don’t worry future, I will do what it takes to proof to ahko that you won’t be a FATTY in your THIRTY.

Listen; if the pill doesn’t work, we have no choice but to recite our secret every night. You know what it is.
XOXO,
Younger me.

***

That night, my husband was bugging me into telling him what prayer I do every night. I told him in a whisper.
“Dear God, if you can’t make thin, please make everyone else fat”.

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I was rather upset at my speech evaluator as he did not utilize his 2 minutes evaluation properly because he just stood there giggling and trying to recall his words. I really need his feedback as I am preparing for my speech contest. Soon after, he came to me personally to tell me that my speech has no humor content except for the short opening and closing. Still, I think he has wasted everybody's 2 minutes by staring blankly at him. He should have told me on the stage and suggest some guidance / tips instead.

Anyway, I received many post-it notes from my peers. They found it very creatively written and presented well. Surely, it will motivates me for my next speech! :) Thanks for your votes of the best speaker of the day. *blush

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