Sunday, October 7

Surviving a LDR.

"Can you be my girlfriend?"

"Er,... er.... we are so far apart and I have never done anything like this before"

"I have some LDR experiences before and I am confident that we will work things nicely. I will guide you throughout..."

"Let's discuss this when we meet again, I prefer you to ask me face-to-face..." *blush
Distance is just a space in between. It is only as far apart as our heart will let.
The following week, he had to cancel his trip to KK to pay his last respect to his grandfather. It was a shocking and painful news. He asked me if I could accompany him to Bentong as it was a difficult time for him to go through alone as he was very close with his late grandfather. Without hesitation, I went with him although it was really awkward to the max!

That same night, he held both my hands. He stared into my eyes and said, "Ashlee, I know it's not the right time but I really want to tell you this. I am serious and I really like you. Can you be my girlfriend?"

It might be inappropriate for him to pop that Q at that time / event but I could really feel his genuine sincerity and feelings for me. I believe he is serious about me, about us and I am very proud of him for being able to put down *certain things just to show his respect for his late grandfather. Somehow, I feel everything is like blessing in disguise for us. I think his late grandfather was trying to pull us together too from above. With that, I said Yes.
It marks the beginning of my very first LDR, the Long Distance Relationship - a total of 1368.55 kilometers apart between Miri and Kuala Lumpur and as if the distance was not great enough, God decided to test us further by tripling the distance when he was offered one-year-international-assignment to Beijing after 8 months being together.

When I first got to know about this, I was like, "WTF, our goal is to be physically together" but later I realized it is a very great opportunity for him and I need to be supportive. I gave him all the assurances that he needed that I am and will be fine with the move and he also gave me confidence that I needed because there are so many friends who have warned us about the attractive china dolls and temptations of loneliness. Somehow, I HAVE nothing but full trust and confidence in this man whom I called fiance who went down on one knee to propose for a marriage early April this year.
I really think that we are in another LDR, which means Lovely Dynamic Relationship, the kinds that allow both people in the relationship to learn, grow and come closer to reaching their fullest potential. I have never believe and trust someone this much, not to mention my love for him. He is always very supportive and coaches me whenever I have my own challenges and he always motivate me to persuade my dreams once he earns enough money...the time he is back from China!

I love how he plants these three key elements into my head every morning he wakes me up via FaceTime, every day we chat via office instant messenger and every night we communicate via FaceTime again. 
He wakes me up every morning :)
To the FaceTime and Whatapps creators, you are amazing and you have no idea how much money and time we have saved..and you are especially very important persons in each and every LDR in this world.

Be yourself!
Seriously, just be yourself. He knows everything about my past, family, lifestyle, ambitions, desire, needs and wants and of course, I know him inside-out, left-right, top to toe, toe to top too. We are brutally honest with each other too because we both know how important trust is in any relationship especially in ours. That way, we could work things out when one of us spot something is amiss. Never ever hide anything or lie to your partner because he/she will find out one day and once you start to lie, you can never stop as you need to create another lie to match with the first lie even it was an unintentionally made at the first time.
Be yourself
Begin with the End Game in mind!
We talk about future a lot; we discuss about our wedding, we brainstorm about our home decoration, we make holiday plans, we give names to our future kids, we debate if we want to have pets in the house, we argued about who will play the good cop or the bad cops in bringing up our children... basically we just paint the colorful, harmony, happy and realistic future together that we want so badly once he is back for good in another 8 months.
Love his promising words!
Pole dancing!
Haha! There is a strong, solid and tall virtual pole between us which we will hold on to it in times of tornado, earthquake, tsunami, flood, drought, no WIFI, mood swings, etc. As long as we are tied to the pole as strong as pole dancers, we will survive this LDR smoothly and perfectly. It works perfectly fine for us. 

Along with mentioned three key love seeds, like any other investments we must spend time, effort, and love to have a promising return (from both parties). Banish "should" in your relationship - he should do this, she should be the one who doing that in order not to take each other for granted. Surprise your partner, talk and treat your other half the way you wanted to treated throughout the relationship cycle and not just the courting/beginning phase. Just put yourself in that receiving's shoes of your every action / words. If you like it, then do it. Otherwise, do not!

Both LK and I are counting down to the days of his end of assignment and pray that he will be based in peninsular for good after that. We can't wait to materialize the beautiful picture that we painted and be physically together again. It's gonna be so much fun and we gonna spend so much time together doing things that we have been planning. The good thing about LDR is that you have plenty of time to plan and organize for future together without having much distraction or taking each other for granted.

Share your thoughts and tips on surviving a LDR with me. :)





6 comments:

  1. Oh my dear friend! This is like the first post ever you are being sweet. haha... Really admire you both even though I have no idea who he is. How did you guys meet actually? Anyhow, I'm so happy for both of you. Eh, one thing! You said he was on his knee proposing the marriage. What was your answer? Hehe...

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  2. I've been ur fan for a while, and I always "awwww" at ur posts about ur relationship. Wish you two all the best :) Stay cute together!

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  3. @Davuth: Really? is this the only post of being sweet? hahaha. The next time you secretly visit Msia again, call me up so that i can introduce him to you.:) Shall not reveal how we met and all until you come to our wedding. HAHAHA

    @Missie: Hello, didn't know you read my blog until this message. Thank you for your wishes and definitely stay cute together. :)

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  4. hahaha... someone is using the word "wedding" now. hahaha...

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  5. so lovey dovey! and so happy for you

    5plus2

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