Tuesday, October 9

A post with TMI

(TMI = Too much information which not everyone is comfortable with. Feel free to exit and come back next week.)

Recently, my mood swings so badly I didn't want to come nearby myself. When I stared into mirror, I dislike what I see. Someone who has so much anger, someone who is so weak, someone who could not handle her stress and emotion well. Most of my closed family and friend would know how terrible I'd become when I am not in good mood. Well, truth is nobody looks good in bad mood.

Then I realize my period has been very irregular from the start of the year. Usually, every 28 days you have your menstrual but mine is between 23-56 days, way beyond the normal range.

One of the many reasons for irregularity in menstrual is due to hormone imbalance, which is caused by stress. And I get more stress for not having normal period cycle. So hormone imbalance increases and my menstrual got even more delayed! Wtf.

Gosh. Be carefree, solution to mine.

Of course I went for professional consultation. After scan and all, he told me that i have many eggs however my follicles are premature but that may not be my main reason. He advised hormone pills but I'd like to observe for longer period before taking the pills. I heard horror stories for taking them, fat, fat and fat. But people also told me they slimmed down after consuming pills but after give birth their size would double! I daren't take the risk and decided to live healthier lifestyle.

So what does premature follicles mean? I went to Mr. Google and I found out something called Premature Ovarian Failure (POF) which is known as premature menopause which means the egg is not in the matured stage when it is being release. Difficult to be pregnant. One of the symptoms is 'irregular period'. Fuck! At that moment, I realize I want my own baby and told LK to marry me soonest to start family. Left him a message and the links because it was 1.40am and he was sleeping. Woke up to his morning call and he said, don't worry, don't think you have POF.

It was on Sunday night and I got my menstrual today. I pray that it will become normal cycle again and won't have to scare myself with so many possibilities.

Anyway, because of my irregular period, I finally got my first anti-cervical cancer jab (have been procrastinating since Jan) and aware of POF and also start to live a healthier lifestyle. Besides, I know I want to have my own kids and a man who is still there for me during my fucking emo time. We quarrel a bit last couple of days but quickly patched things up because the pain was unbearable + feelings of being separated ~3700km away.

I love you baby and thank you for not giving up on me when I was a bitch.

Girls, go get your anti-cervical cancer jabs if you have not already done so. It prevents 90%. Best to get it before 26 years old.

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