At last, I'm breathing again (now, for blogging) Been feeling so suffocated recently and not to mention the stress.
I begin to worry about myself. You know when they say you're creating stress for yourself unintentionally you're about to visit to the psychologist. I tried very hard to please everyone, but when I do get negative feedback or I can't reject someone's offer, I began to feel panic and sad? I started to think of the opposite party's feelings. Ohhh It must be sad and how disappointing they will be if I'm not following their plan. sort of. All these images play in my head, and in the end, I sort of being forced to obey them in order to please them. In the end, I'm the one who feels the pressure and it's like I'm being pushed to the wall.
I really wish I could have the things that I really need without asking from others. But I will work hard. No pain No gain. There are so many things that I wish I could SCREAM it out from my little small box in my head to release the pressure.
Just like a balloon, everyone keep pumping air in, and someday it will burst and boom, it's gone.