"You can't change how you come into the world, but you can change how you leave the world"
As I grow wiser, (reluctant to use older) I realize I become more coward in terms of taking up the challenges. If you asked me 10 years ago, I would say, BRING IT ON.
My bf is offered a year international assignment to Beijing. He asked me nicely to quit my job so that he can bring me along. He says I can do anything I want for long that I am happy. Be it voluntary or humanitarian work. He convinced that I shouldn't be worry about my commitment because he would take care of those.
Oh god, I wished I have the courage to walk up to my boss and scream at her of all my dissatisfaction. Throw in the letter and walk off beautifully.
"what about my job?" "what about my earnings?" "what about my shopping?" "what this and that?" - 1001 questions running in my head.
"awesome. that's so cool" "ohyes, i'm no longer in the rat race" "my dream comes true" "finally i get to stay oversea" "that's exactly what I wanted" - my heart pumps fast thinking of these.
Material vs dream. career vs satisfaction. - Which one would you choose?
When I am done with whats, then comes the if.
If I am not with Shell, I won't give a second thought. If I am older, I will quit my job and go. If I am .... - my mind trying to picture the scenarios of which I will say yes to him.
In the end I told him I can't quit my job and I will visit him every often.
I am disappointed at my decision. It shows that after all, I am not that adventurous as I thought I am. But am I adventurous to begin with? I definitely need to start thinking what I would like my life to be because I am no longer a teenager.